Dream Big and Act Small: A Forest Fog Lament

I am wandering. Lost in a Forest. The fog is so thick that I have to feel for the trees as I walk. Forget running. If I were to run in this thick forest with such an onslaught of a low flying grey cloud, I’d knock myself out.

How did I get here?

I’m not sure. I can pinpoint when I realized the fog. The trigger point if you will, but I am certain the trigger point did not bring the fog.

A friend of mine asked me, Why do you do it? I did not have a good answer. I am full of answers. It is what I do. I provide answers to questions people don’t even know they have. Solutions to Challenges. I teach, I train, I consult, I develop, I design, I architect, and I ultimately provide good correct answers.

The Irony: Why do I do it? I didn’t answer the question. I tried. I sat down. I thought about it. I researched it. I wrote and wrote. I prayed. I talked and talked. I stayed the course. I pretended. Pretended some more. I got sick of it. Ultimately, I ran. I ran away from everything I know. I kept running and running until I was so thick in the fog, I could not focus on a tree much less see my way through a forest.

Now, I am lost in a foggy forest.  Looking.  Searching. Why do I do it?

All this searching, what have I learned? Even in situations of utter darkness and despair, we can learn to see via our other senses. We adapt. We learn. I have learned. I have learned to be cautious. Just when I think the Fog has lifted, and I can see a path through the forest, The Fog drops, again, just as it is now. I learned I am still learning. I am learning that to navigate a deep dark fog through a thicket, one must take short quick steps and trust your internal compass.  I am learning to Dream Big and Act Small.

Yes, The Fog is upon me. Yes, I have bruises all over from bumping into trees. Why do I do it? I’m still searching for answers, and I am still lost.